Friday, July 31, 2009

The results are in ... sort of

I was called by the Doctor who did the procedure. One nodule is benign. The other 2 probably are but guess what? There was blood in the samples so they want to do the biopsies again. I haven't called to schedule it. I can't deal with the thought of going through that pain again. I am not good with confrontation and I am putting it off because I will be telling them She WON'T be doing it. Either they can find another Dr. or I will. I refuse to let that cold, angry little person touch me again.

I am so frustrated right now. I knew this was going to happen. She broke so many blood vessels it would have been impossible not to get some blood in the specimens.

I'm really angry too. I don't want to go through this again. I have to think about if I will or not.

On a very nice note though, as of yesterday I've lost 71 pounds since surgery and a grand total of 154 pounds since I started my new life.

So that still trumps all the nastiness I had to go through with this Thyroid garbage.

I refuse to let that ruin my good feelings.

Monday, July 13, 2009

I finally took the plunge!

Well I have finally done it!

I haven't had a haircut in nearly 20 years. My hair has been down to my butt since my early 20's. After my BIG hair days of the 80's I just let it keep growing.

So with all the changes going on in my life and my body my hair has been suffering. It was looking pretty bad and I have lost some due to my surgery. So I decided it was time for my hair to get healthy too.

People that know me will remember how long my hair was.

So Friday I took the plunge. It was time for another drastic change in my life.

Here I am 29 inches later .... Whaddya think? =0)

I love it. I never thought I could ever have a cute short hair doo! =o)

Red Kittie Kat

Here is the back. Sorry for the blurry .. hard to take myself lol

Red Kittie Kat

And here is the tail I had cut off for Locks of Love

that brought it to right above my shoulders. Six more inches were cut off as I got my new style.

Red Kittie Kat

So far everyone in my family looks at me with the OMG look .. then take a deep breath and tell me how cute it is :o)

And here is one I got a bit artsy with ... just a hint of color

Red Kittie Kat

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

It's Over ...

I'm back among the living. What a nightmare that was

I came home and just went to bed. I was so stressed out.

One thing I can say is if for whatever reason I have to have this done again .. that Doctor will never touch me again. She was rude, arrogant and worst of all cold and very rough.

She hurt me so badly I was tearing up ... I was trying so hard to keep it together and she says to me .. "Shall we cancel this procedure" I was just stunned ... you have no idea how badly I wanted to say yes lets! At that point I was only 1/3 of the way through the procedure.

She stuck me 18 times - six needles per nodule (I was told it was only going to be 3 aspirations per nodule) and once she was in there she jack hammered the needle until she found the right spot.

I've had this done before when the left side of my Thyroid was removed and it never hurt like this. My neck is so swollen and I can't turn my head. The only time she her tone was friendly with me was when another doctor came in to was some of the procedure.

As soon as I was done she said now you realize this may have to be done again if we don't get definite results. I said to myself ... I think not - at least not by you.

She even told me to stop breathing the way I was breathing and breathe right and to stop tearing up it was causing mucus in my throat.

Just how is one supposed to breath with needles being jack hammered into the base of ones throat and a scan wand being jammed into the side to show the nodules.

If anyone knows the answer let me know so I can be a "better" pin cushion next time

When I came out my sister came right over to me and said Jesus, what did they do to you.... and then I burst into tears.

It looks like there is a golf ball trapped under my skin and I am all bruised. I never had that happen before.

After I calmed down I guess it was my time to get someone like this. Up until now all of the Doctors I have seen have been excellent. Very kind and compassionate.

I'm really not a baby and I'm not looking for anyone to fall all over me. Do what you have to do and lets get it over .. but geez at least have a little empathy for your patient. She had to have known she was hurting me.

I was pretty much a wreck the rest of the afternoon. But, after a good nap I don't feel too bad .. just swollen and sore.

I managed to eat a little and I get some water in me so that's always a good sign

I should know sometime next week what the results are.

I have really felt blessed because everyone I have had to deal with for the last 6 months has been so professional and so nice so I guess odds were that I get a sour one eventually.

I will make it known I don't ever want her again and why. I really wasn't looking for coddling but if she had just said something kind and given me a minute to gather myself it would have been an entirely different experience ... instead she chose to treat me like a two year old and threaten to end the procedure if I couldn't control my emotions.

I guess I just need to figure out how to enjoy having my throat stabbed 18 times and show no emotion or feeling.

Here are a couple shots I took quick to show you the damage

at a distance:

Red Kittie Kat

Up close: You can see each needle stick and the horizontal bruising from her jack hammering the needle once in there.

Red Kittie Kat

You can see the swelling ... last night it was sticking out just as if a golf ball was in there.

I am just so glad it's over ... for now anyway

Friday, July 3, 2009

Getting Nervous

Tuesday I have the biopsies on my Thyroid done at 8am. I'm so nervous, but trying not to obsess.

9 needle sticks

I am so not looking forward to this :(