Uggh...

I had my 4th treatment last Thursday.  Not going to post much I just have no life left in me.  I am so tired.  Actually the word tired doesn't begin to cover it.  Making a cup of Tea and carrying it to my room exhausts me.

As tired as I am I am not sleeping so great either.  I either can't sleep or can't get out of bed.  Blech!

I took a little trip to Cape Cod

I needed a girlie weekend ... I was so happy when I got invited by Diva and Rachella to go with them and Lexi to the Cape for a few days.  Even though it rained most of it ... it was still wonderful.  I was rather amused that for once I didn't have to worry about the rain ruining my hair doo lol!

Treatment 3

I'm halfway there now.  I see some light at the end of the tunnel.  I just wish I had more energy.  Little things tire me right out. 

I'm not going to complain about what I am going through however ... after seeing some of the folks in the Cancer Center .. it really broke my heart. I feel like I have gotten off lightly compared to what some are going through. While it's no piece of cake I think I am doing pretty good all things considered.

Here are some pics of my rig: 

 








That's quite a needle eh?





Me and Jess - She has been with me every step of the way.  I don't think I could have coped without her strength and encouragement.  I love you Sis ♥

Aww...

I love this pic. Mikey loves my bald head .. he rubs it all the time.  How cute is he?? ♥

Treatment 2

Treatment number 2 has come and gone. I think I am doing ok. Thursday went smoothly. No reaction this time. They are giving me oral Benedryl. I had my shot on Friday - no issues.

I have a little pattern developing.  Seems the Sunday after my treatment seems to be my worst day so far. This Sunday like last time I had horrible waves of nausea.  But the pills help right away. 

Still no side effects such as mouth sores or skin issues.  I'm just tired. 

Nothing like a wool cap in 90 Degree Heat!

Well here is the wig ...

BUT..... I just can't wear it.  It's itchy and feels like I am wearing a wool cap.  It's just too uncomfortable.  God bless the gals that can do it .. but I have decided to go with the Pirate look.  I'm now the proud owner of a dozen colorful bandanas. 

I had a talk with myself wondering why I was torturing myself with a wig.  Who was it for.  I really think I was wearing it for others benefit.  I didn't want to make others uncomfortable.  How stupid is that?

If I ever had a right to completely focused on me and my comfort level now would be the time.  So I stuck the wig up on a stand on my closet and learned how to tie a bandana on my head so it wouldn't blow off.   Thank you to all the Bikers our there ... your dew rag instructions rock!

This is what I look like on a daily basis now.

here are a few more silly shots -  I have to have a sense of humor about all this or I will just curl up in bed in the fetal position and not come out until it's all over.

My lovely turban lol 






Styling in a big hat:





Look out Norma .. I'm ready for my close-up too!!

It's Gone ...

Hair today ... Gone tomorrow ...

After grocery shopping today and having wind literally blow gobs of hair out of my head while driving - I had my sister get out the clippers. 

It's been 2 weeks to the day and right on schedule it started falling out in gobs.   I had to shave it ... I just couldn't bear seeing it clumped in my brush or on my shoulders.  It was falling out so fast I wouldn't have been able to even cook dinner.  I didn't want to get hair all over everything so I took matters into my own hands.   Or put it in my sisters I guess lol 

The pics aren't too great.  The lighting was bad but Miss Alex did a pretty good job.  










Here lies my hair ... it lived a good life ... One day it shall rise again!

4th of July Rib Recipe

This works great for pulled pork or just for Ribs ... they were so tender they nearly melted in my mouth :D 

4 cups apple cider vinegar
2 cups dark brown sugar
2 tablespoons peppercorns
1 tablespoon sea salt
1 teaspoon mustard powder
whole pork shoulder (~14 pounds)

Combine all the dry ingredients in a blender or food processor and process until a fine powder.

Add the cider vinegar and process again until mixed.

Rinse the pork and place fat-side-up in a large pan. Pour the sauce over.

Cover tightly with foil, and place in a 250°F oven for at least 7 hours.

Remove the foil and check the internal temperature. Return to the oven until it is 190°F.

Put under the broiler to crisp the fat on top.

Pour off and reserve the liquid. Separate the grease out and discard.

Remove the fat layer and pull the rest of the pork apart with forks or tongs.

Pour the de-fatted liquid back in.

I put it in the oven at 8 am this morning and pulled it out at 3:30

My only variations .. I didn't have mustard powder .. but I added a few glugs of Worcestershire sauce and a few splashes of Hot Sauce and cut up two big onions as well.  When I pulled it out I removed the ribs from the juice and placed them on a baking sheet - covered them with Sweet Baby Rays bbq sauce and then baked them for another 30 minutes 350 to set the sauce.

Mmmmmm.....

My niece Rachel made these for me for my Birthday.  YUM!!!

 She made these delicious little morsels for my birthday. They were so tasty and so colorful. I think they are just beautiful. She did an amazing job. Even with the blazing sun trying to kiss the frosting off them they still looked amazing ♥

Happy Birthday To Me

I am 46 years old today .... 220 pounds lighter than last year and going through Chemo .... what a life eh?

It has been quite a ride for the past two years.  No one can say I lead a dull life.