I am shopping and walking more and more every day. I can go up and down the stairs as often as I want now. I can buy clothes in Walmart ... even ones on Sale!! I know that might seem mundane ... but when you have spent most of your life buying clothes online in the Big and Tall Mens department it feels really nice to buy some girl clothes. I've bought my first pair of pajamas ... ever. I have pretty blouses and nice slacks ... and I actually have colors now ... it's not all black in hopes of blending in and not being seen by anyone.
I went to the movies 2 weeks ago to see AVATAR in 3D and it was fabulous! I haven't been to the movies in 20 years ... I couldn't fit in the seats. It was all I had to do to keep from crying before the movie even started - I was just so happy to be there.
It feels so good just to be able to do some normal things again. This has been quite a year .. there have been ups and downs but I wouldn't trade one single thing if it meant I couldn't be where I am now.
I still have a bit of a road ahead of me ... but looking at how far I have come just blows my mind.
Now I don't normally go flashing this pic around ... but my sister brought it to my attention just to prove to me how far I really have come.
And this is me in December at Christmas with my Sisters (April on my left and Jessy on my right)
I don't even look like the old me anymore. That person is gone ... well at least half that person is gone.
So for anyone out there wondering about this type of surgery - is it a bed of roses? Nope ... is this the easy way out? Definitely NOT! Is it worth what you go through? ABSOLUTELY!
I have my life back. For the first time in a long time I feel like there may be a future for me. I feel hopeful now that I will see my beautiful little nieces and handsome little nephew grow up and start their lives with husbands and wives and children. If I'm really lucky I might even be a Great Aunt one day. A year ago I thought my life was coming to a close. I was actually starting to write notes of what I wanted done with my things and what type of funeral I wanted. Now I wake up every day just thinking about the possibilites.
So don't give up ... don't give up on yourself ... ever. It's possible to feel alive again. I was in a very dark place - a very lonely and depressing place. It was do or die ... literally. I needed help .... I asked for it and I got it.
As I said I still have a bit of a journey ahead of me but I am going to get there.
Now I feel like I am at the Oscars ... but I would like to thank first of my Family for putting up with my mood swings and moments of panic ... crying ... excitement ... and all around craziness over the last year. Secondly I would like to thank everyone at Ellis Hospital and Bariatric who have been there for me this passed year. Without them none of this would be possible.
So big hugs to ((((((Dr. Clarke, Mike, Evelyn, Chris, Aimee, Alicia and a special hug to Ann who is an angel on earth)))))) and all those that have helped me with all my hospital visits. You all have a very special place in my heart. A heart that beats much easier now. A heart that you saved.
Thank you ♥
